Last Home Study visit

We met with our social worker, Beth, at our home from 2:00 - 3:30 pm to finish up any questions that she needed to ask directly relating to Ethiopia. We love her because she has such a sweet heart and a quiet spirit. She is close to our age and shares a lot of the same views and passions as we do. Everytime we meet with her, we end up laughing most of the time. We love that her humor is similar to ours and she just makes us feel comfortable. When you hear the word "social worker", you tend to think negatively but she has given a new meaning to that word. We are so thankful for her!

She asked us many questions but mostly focused on any history we had with loss and grief. Brad was able to give some examples but I didn't have anything to offer. I was searching my mind to think of anything that would somehow resonate with grief or loss, and I had to tell her that I had nothing. I hadn't even experienced the death of a family pet (and yes, she asked)! I felt almost superficial.....and I felt embarrassed that I had always felt fortunate for not experiencing death up close and personal. I explained to her that I was feeling inadequate and I wanted so much to be able to somehow relate and deeply understand the pain, suffering and loss that my children might be grieving sometime in their life. She assured me that some parents will never understand the grief their children feel in a situation like adoption, and most who have never been through it, don't understand completely. After our interview, I thought about it for a long time and I remembered a verse that had comforted me many years ago:

"For since He Himself has now been through suffering and temptation, He knows what it is like when we suffer and are tempted, and He is wonderfully able to help us." Hebrews 2:13

It was made clear to me that as parents, (or people for that matter), we greatly lack so much but sometimes we try to have all the answers wanting our children to depend on us for everything. But instead, we should always direct our children to the Lord. For He can understand and heal their hurts much more than we can even imagine! We must teach our children to turn to Him for strength and comfort and ultimately depend on Him and Him alone. When my children grieve for their past or for what they have lost (or maybe grieving not ever knowing their past), I may not completely understand, but I can grieve with them and assure them with the Word of the Lord that He knows their every thought. He is our great Comforter!